Asthma Farm by charles duncan One day, the incorporateds were flying over a distant planet in their legendary ship, the rustbucket, with Halifax at the controls when suddenly, a fire broke out in the engine that hadn't been expected.. while Halifax was wide-awake dreaming of renegade's long obsession with him as he was at the ships controls..something he'd done in the months since he'd proven his innocence mostly, causing the ship to leave orbit... Something quite unexpected in their long journeys over the months since they'd left earth behind. And although they landed safely, It was apparent it would be a like, rough landing, as they landed through a dusty storm indeed with little visibility, but indeed, they landed. And although the ship had a rough landing, Casey was able to get things going as indeed, somehow, the incorporateds indeed, landed in a wheat field somewhere on Jasaya.. A planet where farming was indeed a major industry, and indeed, worth living for.. .Though when halifax stepped out of there, he had a very, very bad allergic reaction to the air...and kept sneezing himself apart. "For the love of the heavens", Casey said, "what the heck is wrong with you?" Halifax replied, "Well, indeed, I think i have some bad news.. my people are allergic indeed to the dust storms that plague this planet, very much so, and indeed, we shall always have problems settling here.. most of the felines here who have settled down usually either take injections or wear outfits that allow them to go about without the allergic functions that personally keep them from being sick. And with powers like mine going haywire, there's no telling", he said as his limbs came flying out and bounced off into the tall fields, being looked for indeed. "I like, personally hope you'll find them.. but until the ship is repaired we may not be able to leave.. Any place where we can stay the night until the ship is repaired nearby? because we indeed better not stay long.. Especially with the galaxy to protect." "Well", Halifax said, "there is indeed a farm nearby where indeed, we might find shelter.. and hopefully food.. because with the impact i'm sure the kitchen will not be in the best of shape". So, the group went over to the nearby farm where indeed, there didn't seem to be anyone much home.. and it seemed mostly deserted save for a masked woman, who seemed very quiet indeed.. but welcomed them in, since she didn't seem to have much company, especially considering she was wearing a mask. "Well, What's your name", Casey said, considering indeed though he'd traveled much in the universe during his short life, and still felt like he had years left to travel, and the lady replied that she was Brazos Farah, a farming girl who had lived her life mostly in seclusion save for a sister who 'bothered her a lot about her 'glorious life' finding romance elsewhere on the planet with the help of someone who apparently was a enemy.. but indeed she'd found love and hope sometimes.. though it bothered her sometimes, why indeed she couldn't just 'get out more often' as she often needed to tend the strange mutant chickens that wandered nearby.. "Hmm.. nice name", Casey said, "Well, me and my friends are known as the Incorporateds, a budding group of beings dedicated to freeing the universe from the oppression of an ancient race of gorillas who keep being made to do evil by a leader we've yet to really identify, but so far we're hopeful to sometime find out who's behind him. Halifax, over there outside, who keeps falling apart, is one of our friends.. who recently got forgiven somehow." "Oh, that's nice, indeed. Well, I'll personally have to like meet him sometime. I just hope my sister doesnt' come by for she's been acting wierd, buying up lots of green hair spray.. why, In fact, sometimes i can't help but wonder indeed, what she's doing trying to get into the real estate buisness.. when the farm's like been her life. And knowing how we caticans are allergic to the dust in this world, why, i don't even see why we even bother getting green hair spray knowing she's just going to cover her head anyway". "Um", Speedster said, as he poked his head in through the door, hearing halifax sneeze outside a whole lot, "We indeed like have a problem, for if halifax keeps sneezing himself apart he might not be easily put back together again". "Well, then tell him to, like personally tape himself together.", Casey yelled back as he heard Wilson yelling again, "I hope i'm not seeing some visions of a dark future even as I sit outside and watch the wind blow by, because those are like getting to me!" Speedster replied, "It's not that simple.. these are interdimensional portals indeed, that happen to like, personally, may be hard for anyone to put together again." "Is there any place halifax could just 'sit' while I have dinner", Casey said, 'hoping indeed i do get something decent to eat'.. "Because I a m so not cleaning up if he totally gets spread all over the universe? Brazos replied.. "Ohh, if he's so, like, splitting up indeed that much, maybe he like, could sit in the tractor.. after all, it's kinda, well, closed in." "Yeah.. ", Casey said, "go sit in the tractor!" Then, Brazos's sister, who called herself Ozoba, came in, apparently having driven up from the city where indeed, they had a car personally well, very nice looking, but Casey almost had a like, panic attack when indeed, nothing other than a well-known enemy of the universe called Cornball was there, just grinning. "Ohhh, man, what the heck are you dragging in", Brazos said. "My new boyfriend. He's like, very rich and something, but indeed, mysterious... and he says he has plans.. much nobler than any old farm... why, he likes very much to throw his money about", said Ozoba, who also wore a outfit that didn't really, like, reveal much about her other than green hair she had. Speedster muttered from afar, "I could throw a 10,000 dollar bill as I still hopefully have eight of them, but do I get any love, Oh no." "Well, indeed, you're welcome," Brazos said as Cornball went inside the place, wanting indeed to pull up a chair and discuss some deals with her sister. Casey almost got like mad but kept his composure, after all, with the dreams he'd had lately of what he'd someday be capable of, he didn't want to cause the farm to fall on him. Speedster then got in a argument with Wilson, with both of them outside, about things like, 'Why aren't you allergic if he's your son', and Wilson laughed his head off, "Just because I married his mom doesn't mean I inherited his allergies.. something I've never really gotten over." "Ohh, I'd be careful If I were you, because indeed, who knows indeed what the future will bring if you don't sign.. I mean, that's a lot of money I'd offer to you if you sell", said Cornball to Brazos, whom personally indeed, had a long history of bad and mental problems.. "and who knows what'd happen if anything unfortunate would happen to you." "Like what", Brazos said. "Let's just say it involves a lot of chickens.. because I'd had visions of chickens, giant strange chickens, coming nearby. "Don't be like, ridiculous", Brazos said, knowing indeed chickens didn't grow to be 10 feet tall.. at least no real ones she saw lately. "Well, Let's just say you wouldn't want to see any suddenly wander the landscape.. after all, i've heard reports of them lately coming by." "Ohh, where, indeed?" "About 20 miles away. they should be here in like 11 minutes or so." "What?", Speedster said as Wilson tried to explain dating of bygone eras. "In fact", Cornball said as Speedster and Wilson began talking up a storm of their own, "You could pack immediately, and run for your life.. I'm sure you can get there.. because I and my girlfriend really , barely, managed to get by them. And did i mention most of them are.. robotic ones? Giant robotic ones. Ohh, I saw them. If I had blueprints I'd even show you them, but considering Casey is standing right behind me with his.. uh..." Casey said as he stared right to Cornball.. "Get out", indeed. "But I'm concocting a buisness deal!, said Cornball, and I don't have a lot of time to do so! You know indeed, how giant robot chickens get when they go on a place not their own." "HOW COULD YOU KNOW INDEED ABOUT WHAT THOSE GIANT CHICKENS DO?!?! JUST GET OUT!" ... Ohhkay, Cornball said.. who indeed, felt really depressed right about then. "Just trying to do a deal with a wonderful," "OUT!", Casey said. "Forgive me, strange woman, but well.. Cornball's kinda like, a villian.. I heard he once made 30 minutes of prime programming on a network vanish just because he got mad enough to try!" "Uhh.. but where are these giant chickens, indeed?", Brazos said. "Uhh.. i'd say about 18 miles away at the", Cornball said, but Casey showed him the door. Ozoba went with them, trying very hard to kick Casey in the pants, but Casey was too wily to be hurt that way. "Well, looks like another wonderful day in paradise", said Speedster, "Ohh.. Is that cornball? THE CORNBALL? what's he doing here?" Casey replied.. "I think he's trying to run a scam or something.", as Halifax kept sneezing his head off. "AND he said giant chickens were coming over!" "Ohh, I hope he's making it up", Speedster said, "For I hate that guy a lot. " Wilson said as he glared off into the distance.. "I .. hear them. coming in the distance. BIG ones." So, Casey said, "Well, go get them or something, for you could reach them with that loudblaster of yours", as Ozoba went wild and the clucking of chickens was indeed, in the distance.. giant robot chickens." "I hope this is something we can deal with", Wilson said, as he personally got up.. and Halifax kept sneezing. A few minutes later, the giant chickens began to surround to place, as Casey prepared for battle.. and Wilson, offering to pay for any damage, managed to borrow the tractor.. as Halifax sat down, dazed and confused and sick.. while Ozoba laughed as she sat on the ground.. like it was real funny. "Chickens, indeed", Halifax said, as Wilson drove the tractor at the chickens.. who apparently seemed to have no real identification, but still looked really menacing, indeed.. And Speedster began taking down the chickens with his weapon in his hand, kicking them in the legs at breakneck speed.. with renewed determination. And the two Farahs just looked at each other as the battle ensued, with Cornball trying to get the best of Casey, but Casey was too battlewise and unweary to, indeed, be taken so easily.. and Speedster, well, had a bad deal with chickens himself, so Speedster personally was able to take a few of them out. "Man, " both farahs said.. "You really have problems with men." At the battle's end, the Incorporateds stood victorious, with Wilson driving the tractor right over the last chicken, and Halifax finally getting over his sneezing problem.. but in quite a few pieces. "So.." Casey said, indeed.. "What shall we do with you, Cornball.. If indeed these are your chickens? For they smell of your handiwork." "Well.. " Cornball said.. "Those are my handiwork... but I will say this much.. my uh.. girlfriend Ozoba put me up to it?" "INDEED", Casey said, as he shoved cornball aside, and glared at the two Farahs. "But which one is your girlfriend?" Later on, as the Incorporateds got the authorites to drag off Cornball, One of the Farahs who confessed, the Incorporateds prepared to return to space as their ship got repaired.. and Casey wondered indeed.. "What the heck are we all wondering into, indeed, as I swear some sort of Crisis is going on behind my back.. That's determined to unrail us"? "Only heaven knows", Speedster said, "But for all we know, as long as we stick together, we can face the perils.. no matter what happens, for we even in these early years may be indeed destined to be legends.. or at least.. good for a laugh sometimes." Casey sighed. "I wonder if we'll ever meet up with that Farah again? She seemed nice.. but man.. her sister really doesn't have a good taste in the male species." Speedster said "... at least, I hope we never stop being men.. because I don't deal with women very well." And as they boarded, and Halifax got himself sorted, the incorporateds returned to the stars for their next date with destiny... A destiny determined to tear them apart.. from what Casey suspected was a cruel future.. darker than anyone could imagine. Wilson, later that night, looked out at the stars as they flew off to their next destination... "Why do I get the feeling.. I'm cursed to oblivion someday?"